If The Shoe Fits
by CKTheHappyPig
Summary: A KP twist on an old fairytale. Enjoy!  Sequel in progress


Once upon a time, there was a poor maiden named Kimberly. She lived with her cruel step-sister Bonnie, who insisted she do all the work around the house. Kimberly or Kim, as she preferred to be called, was incredibly good-natured, and indeed did all the work. (After all, if she left any work to Bonnie, it would never get done.) So Kim slaved away, and Bonnie criticised her every move. Kim simply gritted her teeth, and dreamt of the day when she'd get rid of her mooching step-sister.

One day, as Kim was washing the laundry, her fairy guardian appeared.

"Do not be afraid. In recognition of your good deeds, I'm going to grant you, with my awesome rockin' powers, your dearest wish. Seriously."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"You're my fairy guardian?"

"Yeah, Red. That Bonnie chick has been, like, totally bogus, so I'm here to give you the most rockinest thing you can think of. I mean, it's gonna be all, like: NA-NA-NANANA-NA-NA!"

The man with the mullet mimed the guitar solo on his wand. Kim looked doubtful.

"Hey, now. Don't gimmie those eyes, Red, you're harshing my chill. Never doubt my awesome powers! I can grant anything. Seriously. Look, how 'bout this: I hear that Prince dude is, like, having some kind of party and I can totally get you there. Free of charge."

"Really?"

"New threads, a kickin' ride, the whole deal. All you gotta do is get out of there by midnight, 'cause once the clock strikes twelve, it's all gonna go back to normal. It's kind of a raw deal, but that's the way it is babe."

"That sounds perfect. One slight change though: let Bonnie go instead."

"…Seriously?"

"Seriously. Royal parties aren't really my thing, but Bonnie would love it. If it'll get her out of my hair for even just a couple of hours, it'll make me happier than anything else could."

"All right, one kick-ass night for a pain in the ass comin' up."

* * *

><p>While Kim was preparing for the most peaceful evening she'd had in a long while, the Prince was locked in a state of melancholy. He leant on his window-sill, gazing out at the Kingdom, occasionally letting out a sigh. The King entered the room, shaking his head at his son's disinterest at the upcoming festivities.<p>

"Junior, you must get ready. The guests will be arriving soon, and you must be properly attired to meet them. I have gone to great lengths to invite only the fairest of maidens tonight, and you must find a suitable bride amongst them."

"Father, I will not find the perfect girl for me in one night. I will probably search my whole life and not find her!"

Sighing dramatically, with his hand against his forehead, he turned from the window as if he could no longer bear looking at the world. The Prince's attendant stepped forward, attempting to lift his master's funk.

"You're not gonna find her with THAT attitude! Just listen to me, the Ron-man knows all about charming the ladies!"

"I do not want to 'charm the ladies!' I want to find the girl of my dreams, but no-one that perfect could ever exist! So I am doomed to spend my life alone!"

The King and Ron both rolled their eyes.

* * *

><p>Bonnie alighted from the carriage, grumbling about the fact that twenty minutes ago it had been a pumpkin, the horses had been mice, her dress had been rags, and the coachman had been a naked mole rat. It had taken a lot of persuasion on both Kim and Ed the Fairy's part to convince her to go, but she had eventually agreed, deciding that a Royal Ball was too good to pass up. She entered the Great Hall, where couples twirled across the marble floor underneath a magnificent crystal chandelier, which cast the softest of glows against the walls of the majestic setting.<p>

Bonnie, however, took no notice of her surroundings. Her eyes were scanning the crowd for the Prince. If she could snag him, she'd be set for life, so all other distractions were put aside. Bonnie was a girl with a plan.

* * *

><p>"What about her?" Ron indicated a shy blond in a stunning blue gown.<p>

"No."

"Her?" This time it was a brunette in a yellow dress.

"No."

Ron peered through the gaggle of prospective brides, trying to find one that might capture the Prince's interest. He was surprised, therefore, when the Prince's head came up and his gaze fixated on a figure in the crowd. Following the young royal's line of sight, the blonde finally spotted Bonnie, making her way determinedly towards their current position.

"Who is that? Her dress is so stylish, and she looks so…"

Ron shook his head.

"She looks like 500 miles of bad road. Let's find you someone better. How about the chick in the green and black dress? She looks feisty!"

The Prince wasn't listening. He slowly made his way towards Bonnie, as if in a trance. Their eyes locked, and you could practically hear the cheesy music as they embraced. Truly, it was love at first sight.

Unfortunately, the clock began to strike twelve.

Bonnie, with some difficulty, extricated herself from her new love's grip, and dashed out the door, calling behind her:

"Call me!"

"But I do not have your number!"

He fell to his knees. She was gone. There on the floor, he found a single glass slipper. Clutching it to his chest, he cried out, with the pain of a lost love. Ron strolled up beside him.

"Ah well. 'Tis better to have loved and lost then yadda, yadda, yadda. Let's go over to the buffet table, I'm starving!"

"No! You are wrong! I will find her again!"

"How? You don't even know her name!"

"That is no obstacle! I have here her shoe. Every eligible girl in the kingdom will try it on. It is so dainty that it can only fit my beloved! Once I find the girl whom this shoe fits, I will marry her at once!"

"…You're gonna marry someone based on shoe size? Isn't that a little shallow?"

"Yes, and that is why it is so perfect! Quick, make preparations! I will not rest until I find her again!"

* * *

><p>It was the morning after the night before, and Kim had not seen this coming. After having had such an opulent experience at the castle, Bonnie found her regular life to be even more sub-par than usual. She complained of even the tiniest of flaws now, and she was seriously trying Kim's patience. She was scrubbing the kitchen floor, with Bonnie loudly ranting behind her when she finally snapped. Turning on her long-time burden, she unleashed upon her a lifetime's worth of pent-up rage.<p>

"I have had it up to here with you! I've done all the work, all day, every day, and you've never even lifted one finger to help me! You are without a doubt the most shallow, selfish, ego-centric person to ever walk the face of the Earth!"

"…So?"

Kim was by this point incoherent with rage, but luckily for Bonnie, the doorbell went, forcing Kim to leave and preventing a bloodbath.

* * *

><p>Ron stood at the door, one hand ringing the bell, the other banging loudly on the door. He never was known for his patience.<p>

"Knock-knock! Hello! Prince's entourage at the door here!"

Kim opened the door to come face to face with Ron. The blonde, upon seeing her, was speechless. She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen, and it was only the fact that she looked ready to murder someone that kept him from sweeping her off her feet right then and there.

"…Uh-umm…I…" he stuttered.

"What?" The red-head almost snarled.

"…I-um-uh…nice to- I mean-umm…"

The King took over from the flustered servant.

"Would you be so kind as to try this slipper on?"

Kim agreed, on the grounds that it would not take long, as she had 'business' to attend to. Ron was still frozen and tongue-tied, so the King slipped the shoe on her himself. To the dismay of the three young people, it fit.

"Excellent! You shall be married to my son at once!"

"M-married? But I'd never even met him until just now!"

"She was not even at the party, sire! She can't be the girl the Prince fell for!"

"The servant is right father! She looks nothing like my beloved!"

"But this is how these things are done, Junior. Tradition dictates that a maiden with such dainty feet would make an excellent bride. Come now, we have a wedding to plan!"

"HOLD IT!"

Everyone turned to the doorway, where an enraged Bonnie stood. She stomped over, shoved Ron out the way and snatched the slipper off of Kim's foot.

"I knew it! You were always jealous of me! And now you're trying to steal the Prince away from me! Well, not today!"

She kicked off her shoe and rammed on the glass one. It was of course, a perfect fit, and the re-united lovers embraced once more, before sealing their love with a kiss. The Prince swept his new bride up into his arms and carried her out the door, with the King following. Ron turned to Kim, finally mastering his nerves.

"You wouldn't happen to have a job opening here would you?"

"Why?"

"There's no way I'm going to work at the palace with Madam Hoity-Toity there. I'd never make it out alive."

"What can you do?"

"…I can cook."

"Welcome aboard!"

* * *

><p>And so Bonnie married the Prince, and the Kingdom lay in fear of the day when the couple would come in to power, for they were in no doubt that their new Princess would rule with an iron fist. Kim and Ron, sensing this, abruptly left.<p>

"Where are we going?"

"Anywhere that doesn't have a couple of self-centred ego-maniacs in line for the throne."

"Badical. So, um, Bonnie found her happy ending. Have you found yours?"

"Almost. Just one more thing to do."

Leaning over, she kissed him on the cheek.

"BOOYAH! Happiest ending ever!"

And so it was.

THE END. SERIOUSLY.


End file.
